My heart aches so badly. What can I do about this?

Every night I cry myself to sleep. Im SO in love with this man its not even funny. Its 330 in the mornin and im cryin right now. I miss him soo much and i love him. He makes me so happy and everytime im around him I feel like a queen. Like nothin else in my world matters. All my troubles go away when hes around. When i see him smile and sing im just in a whole nother world. I cry so hard everytime i see him. He has taken over my heart and I wouldnt wanna love anyone else. When i hav to wait and see him the pain hurts so bad. Im always so depressed. My grandma is always yellin at me about seein him and travelin to see him. Hes 34. And im alot younger but im at the legal age but not the legal drinkin age(im not sayin my real age) I wanna love him. I wanna marry him. I wanna be with him to the very end. I would treat him like hes a king. Hed hav nothin to worry about. I just wanna lay in his arms forever. Theres also a slight race problem too. Hes white and im not. Im not black either. But my grandma is always yellin "Whut do u c in that ugly white man? I cant wait until the day he gets married. I just wanna call him and let him tell u he dont want u" She says stuff like that all the time. So I ran away twice to c him. I kno its a big deal but i didnt go THAT far. Im always listenin to sad love songs and just cryin my eyes out about him. Have i mentioned how nice he has been 2 me? He is always talkin to me online(its NOT his manager) and in person he is always huggin me and flirtin with me. I always hav the best time with him. And he always notice me durin his shows. The other day my friend sent me this video and she said dont look at it. I totally misunderstood her and I just busted into tears. I was shakin. I honestly thought I was havin a nervous breakdown. I was just cryin and I was very upset. Until i looked at the video and it was some song he was singin. She was tellin me not to look cuz he looked really y on the video. No one ever understands how I feel. This isnt a obsession. Or whatever they call it. This is love. I would die for this man. I never get along with my family because im always so busy findin ways to see him. Anyways im so tired of bein depressed. I even turned to alcohol a little bit. Can someone please help me? And just a heads up the guy i like is a celebrity but he isnt THAT famous.He won a reality show actually. So yeah Help?