I never knew it would go this far when I started having fantasies of being in another mans arms.?

I should have figured out what was going on in my marriage at the first thought of being in another mans arms. Now here I am 4 years later after I've had 1 steamy love affair with a married man, 2 one night stands, a tormentuous relationship with a street hustler, and to date taking care of a man who is taking advantage of my kindness and the deep feelings I have for him and using them as my weakness to take care of his needs, meanwhile having with other women. How did i let it go this far?