Good story beginning?

it's good. too much detail (at least for me) it was dragging so i wasn't tht pulled into the writing. also so many "my" at the beginning of each sentence. to get rid of the habit of using same words in the beginning of the sentences, you should write all the beginning words in the each paragraph or page and see which words u overuse. tht way u can circle the ones tht is overused and edit ur sentence. hope it helps(: